by Steve Finefrock – [scriptwriter]

David Corn is positively baffled, at Barack Obama The One [BOTO] choosing Hillary for Secretary of State. He’s not alone – the litany of confusion is growing like kudzu among the lefties. Conservatives need not tamper with this metastasizing doubt among BOTO’s legions. Just let the kudzu grow and clutter their once clear view of what all Must Be Done By BOTO.

What did they think they were getting? The No-Drama-Obama mystery man was seen by Us – conservatives – as a mystic, a mystery, and menace, for his Rorschach test mysticism. The X-Factor of the X-Man on the donkey ballot was pooh-poohed by the media – until a few days after the ballots were counted, when Charlie Rose examined the unknown man we’d put into the Oval Office. A lot of ballots were filled in with pencil marks inside ovals, beside BOTO’s X-Man mystery persona.

Now they are confused. Why Hillary? When Corn is cornfused, you know there’s something afoot. Apparently they ain’t reading much history lately, or Machiavelli either. It’s plain as Hillary’s plane-jane looks: she’s Jefferson in a pantsuit. As the first founder of the ‘democratic’ party, Jefferson first returned from France six months into Washington’s first term, met at the dock by presidential staffers, urged to promptly take the reins of the State Department.  He proceeded shortly to undermine Washington at every turn, revealing secrets by the quill-load, to publishers hostile to the new government. The first example that the ship of state leaks from the top deck. The first ‘highly placed administration source’ to target its own chief of state.

Next, Jefferson expressed public conflict, finally resigning ‘on principle’ and began bashing Adams, serving as the first-successor administration’s VP [second-place in Electoral College], again a schemer and conniver, who defeated Adams’ reelection in the 1800 campaign. While Jefferson resigned on principle, he was most unprincipled almost from the first day of duty under the Father of the Country.

At a time suitable to the Clintons’ ambition, Hillary will express ever-more doubts, a la Colin Powell’s displeasure with Dubya, and ultimately resign in time to challenge her boss in the 2012 primaries. She will be Kennedy to Obama’s Carter, Reagan to Ford, Teddy to Taft, Jefferson to Adams.  Her Machiavellian maneuver will be classic, if not so classy – but then it will be so Jeffersonian, so appropriate for the latest inheritor of Jefferson’s legacy.

And BOTO will be so mystified – as will be Corn.  All will be Shocked, Shocked that there be politics going on here in the fetid swamp of Foggy Bottom. A mere 220 years after Jeffersonian jeremiad scheming undermined the first administration.

And the mystery man, our X-president, a continuing X-factor? If the BOTO title can be extended with that X, as in the scientist and mathematician’s symbol for the unknown, we have a BOTOX president. He’s not only no-drama Obama, but cool, even chilly Obama, a face with few expressions but that steely-warm smile – an ice prince, blood in his brain but ice in his body politic, scheming and planning – and almost royal-like wave to his legions of loving crowds. While his hair already greys, no botox injections will be required in this cool character’s face.

The X-man, the BOTOX president-elect, will be a great drama to watch – the betting begins, on the date when the sheen and shine and glitter begins to fade – when the Corn-fused left begins to wonder just “who is Obama” and what he stands for. Maybe a brief ‘insight’ on a distant spring episode of  “Hardball” might take purchase, belatedly – too bad it didn’t last more than briefly, to the campaign’s final weeks – and make us generally ask what Chris Matthews’ over-the-shoulder graphic blasted to our eyes, about Obama: “Just Another Politician?”

JUST ANOTHER POLITICIAN! Indeed. A BOTOX Oval Leader, cooler than Sinatra, slicker than Willie, slipperier than Nixon, as empty of depth of belief as JFK, as wily and ‘flexible’ as FDR. And shocked, SHOCKED at Hillary’s Jeffersonian Immelman maneuver – a trick by fighter jocks to turn the tables on a pursuing enemy pilot.

“What evil lurks in the minds of men?” asked the narrator for an old radio mystery, pausing before answering his own query: “Only the Shadow Knows!”  It’s less than fifty days to inauguration, but maybe three hundred days before that bet pays off, when greater quantities of the commentariat on the left ask, Is Obama just Another Politician?  Then Matthews can break out that old graphic and make it a regular hardball headline. Another bet: When such a graphic becomes a college student poster, sold in bookstores on campuses nationwide.

Only BOTO knows for sure. And Hillary will be there to pull her Immelman flip, and that is the answer to the Corn-fused question, Why Hillary!  Get ready to microwave the popcorn: the festival begins in about two years.  Who knows what evil lurks in the mind of Hillary? Machiavelli knows – Does BOTOX? ExileStreet

copyright 2008 Steve Finefrock

Finefrock is founder of Hollywood Forum, a speaker-bureau and panel-discussion vehicle to “Bring the Potomac to the Palisades” on issues that overlap politics and culture with the Hollywood film-TV influence on such national concerns. His scripts have addressed politics [including a TV series pilot/bible package about state political combat, called “A State of the Union”], hazardous materials [from twelve years in emergency management, including six years managing FEMA’s Superfund curriculum for hazmat], terrorism, equestrian reincarnation, serial murderer killing journalists in the nation’s capitol, and fantasy about time-wasters. Finefrock is proprietor of PhoneBooth: The Smallest Space in Hollywood…

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