Naughty Bit Player: Maggie Heather Ainsley Murphy Jeanne Glenn Cojones Barracuda Palin

by Steve Finefrock – [scriptwriter]

She’s got that naughty librarian vibe going, according to Craig Ferguson and Mark Steyn, clearly showing good judgment at their attraction to Alaska Republican Babe Governor Sarah “Barracuda” Palin in a June broadcast, when Palin dubbed Ferguson an honorary citizen. Hotties with cojones are coming into the spotlight in Republican politics – first in talk-radio and cable TV [Ann Coulter, Margaret Hoover, Kate Obenshain, Laura Ingraham, et al], now in the political arena itself.

A sucker myself for a babe with brains [BWB], an improvement over a gun-packing Alaskan gal pal’s moniker of WWB [Woman with Brains], Palin reminds me of several screenplay characters of my own creation. One politically-themed script embraced three versions of Palin: future VP enroute to likely conservative as President at story coda, plus a presidential confidante, and a carrier Tomcat pilot who took the prez on a flyaround, when a senator, early in the story. These cojone cuties carry over into a TV series, “A State of the Union” that borrows from that creative source.

Palin has several screen sisters and political peers, making her very much an amalgam of real and reel women: Jeanne Kirkpatrick, Reagan’s Bolton-style UN ambassador with roots from my homestate of Oklahoma; Glenn Close’s VP in “Air Force One”; Candace Bergen’s “Murphy Brown” [yeah, a lefty, but bright, babeish and brash]; Maggie Thatcher [a serious babe in her early parliamentary days, her first profession: a chemist]; blonde babe-alicious Ainsley Hayes, the ‘rightwing lawyer’ [according to TV Guide’s introduction] on Aaron Sorkin’s “West Wing” second season; and Geena Davis, starring in ABC’s short-run series, “Commander in Chief” [co-produced by Dubya’s presidential consiglieri, Stu Stevens].

Palin brings passions to the game, both ours and theirs: the left is sharpening their knives to attack the basketball point-guard nicknamed Sarah Barracuda, and they may confront a large dose of Kirkpatrick and Brown when that battle is engaged. As will Joe Ego Biden. Sarah may team up with future FLOTUS Cindy McCain, herself a major hottie when she met that strutting Navy officer. VPOTUS and FLOTUS might make a feisty pairing for the campaign hustings – one to become Vice President of the United States [VPOTUS], the other as First Lady of the United States [FLOTUS].

A taste of this future came in the assembly race in California’s district 41 in ’04, with a feisty republican babe with brains and cojones and class and sass, running against an entrenched femi-nazi incumbent in a district that included all of the stars in Malibu and most of [Peoples’ Republic of] Santa Monica! An uphill battle for Heather Peters, who’d first dipped her hottie toes in the roiling political waters of the gubernatorial recall. As one of the women dubbed by the media as “Babes of the Recall” she got a taste of fame in front of national media exposure, before endorsing Arnold and moving on to the assembly race the next year.

It was a bracing experience putting some political capital behind Heather – now a business agency leader for Arnold, reveling in the management challenges, startling more than a few when a babe rating a “10” on any scale shows she has an almost instantaneous ability to assess a situation that has been wrestled endlessly by the lessers before her – and render a quick decision akin to a navy commander I know. A babe who can make a decision quickly, and accurately? Two actually: one civilian, one military. Both conservatives, no less!

Known locally as the Joan of Arc of Alaska, Palin is red-state version of Murphy Brown – but with a hubbie and legitimate children, and strong views she could defend face-to-face with any true-life Murphy Brown. And unlike Barack’s numerous ‘present’ votes, her experience as a mayor and governor is one which allows no ‘present votes’ – only yes or no. The province of executive experience, of which Barack and Biden added together, and cubed, is less than Palin’s decisionmaking skills she’d accumulated after one week as governor.

And as an Energy Czarina, she’ll be more than a bit player in the coming debates on drilling in ANWR and other nether regions. She knows a bit about drill bits, drill strings, pipe trips, directional drilling, petroleum refining, pipeline and drill-rig siting – my guess on reviewing the lengthy CNBC interview, she knows more than Biden and Barack and certainly Nancy Pelosi put together. Palin’s petro-knowledge includes awareness that natural gas is a fossil fuel. Unlike the foolish fossils named Pelosi and Barack and Biden.

What we’ve seen so far makes it plausible that Glenn Close barking in “Air Force One” could really happen: as VP, she emphasizes to the assembled military brass that “Your president has given you a direct order. DO IT!”

And Aaron Sorkin’s brief deigning to a serious conservative in his “West Wing” Southern busty babe with brains, Ainsley Hayes, is plausible in this real-life hottie with cojones. Add the “CIC” rise of a VP chosen for her freshness and inexperience, brought to us by some of Stu Stevens’ writing, and Hollywood’s fictional views of a woman in power comes true, comes to life, comes to the office of VPOTUS – but alas, to Hollywood’s discomforting dismay, this one is a colorful, conversational, competent CONSERVATIVE.

For Hollywood, and liberals, a major Maalox Moment.

And so, my gals in that early script find life in political life. This is a Real Gal, with real spirit, beyond any reel gals by Sorkin’s peers – conservative and competent, articulate and intelligent, capable and commanding. Who knew fiction would be redeemed by reality!

It’s going to be a joyous ride, with quite a few bumps – fasten your seatbelt, Sarah Barracuda—for Maggie Heather Ainsley Murphy Jeanne Glenn Cojones Palin. A gun-gal who’s going to make Blabbermouth Biden’s mouth quiver on October 2 – a real-life realization of that opening scene introduction of Ainsley Hayes’ on-air slaughter of presidential aide, Sam Seaborn. My screen dreams combined with Aaron Sorkin’s didn’t even approach the reality which Alaskan upbringing has provided the Lower 48. Yes, that naughty librarian vibe will vibrate the voters in November. Mac has picked a wing-woman akin to my Navy fighter pilot – much as Duhya picked a VP strikingly similar to that same script’s first VP choice by the young president needing a much older yoda.

That déjà vu is repeated eight years later – while I wish I’d sold that script, seeing two bits of reality emerge from what was merely hope on paper is a bit satisfying. Now I can vote for all my screen queens on one election ballot. See ya, gals, my BWBs, on November 4th…

And by the way, I once did know, very well, a very naughty, very smart, very beautiful, very passionate librarian. Thus, a true realization of Rule One of writing: Write What [and Who] You Know [and have Known].

Now, a November chance to vote for what I wrote! ExileStreet

copyright 2008 Steve Finefrock

One Response to “Naughty Bit Player: Maggie Heather Ainsley Murphy Jeanne Glenn Cojones Barracuda Palin”

  1. MusGar Says:



Leave a Reply